Is My Friendship Toxic?

Q: What does the "Is My Friendship Toxic?" quiz measure?

This free self-assessment quiz helps you reflect on not all friends deserve a seat at your table. It includes 10 questions and takes about 4 minutes. Results are for self-reflection, not clinical diagnosis.

Q: Is the "Is My Friendship Toxic?" quiz free?

Yes. This quiz is completely free, anonymous, and requires no signup. Your answers are processed in your browser and never stored or shared.

Q: What does "This Friendship Seems Healthy" mean?

This friendship has real trust, and that's rarer than you think. What I'm seeing here is a real friendship. Mutual support, respect for each other's boundaries, and room to be genuinely yourself. Every friendship has moments of friction, that's normal and even heal

Q: What does "There Are Some Red Flags" mean?

You're giving more than you're getting, and your body knows it. I want you to pay attention to what your answers are telling you. There are patterns here that aren't serving you. One-sided giving, boundary violations, competitive energy, walking on eggshells. You

Q: What does "This Friendship Is Hurting You" mean?

This person consistently makes you feel smaller, and that's not friendship. Let me be straight with you. What you're describing goes well beyond normal friendship friction. You are allowed to outgrow people. You are allowed to choose your own peace. Pulling back from someone

Question 1

Right now, when you think about the last time you hung out with this friend... what do you feel in your body?

Answer

Drained. Anxious. Smaller than when I arrived. Like I need to recover from spending time with someone who's supposed to be my friend.

Answer

Mostly just relief that it's over. I catch myself watching the clock when we're together.

Answer

It's mixed. There are genuinely good moments, but they come with an undercurrent of something uncomfortable.

Answer

Energized and happy. I leave feeling lighter, like I've been reminded of who I really am.

Question 2

What do you notice about who gives and who takes in this friendship?

Answer

I'm always the one listening, showing up, making effort. When I need something, suddenly they're too busy or too tired.

Answer

They rarely ask about my life. Our conversations orbit around their problems, their stories, their world.

Answer

It's a bit uneven, but not drastically so. I give more than I get, though they do come through sometimes.

Answer

We take turns holding each other up. It flows naturally without anyone keeping score.

Question 3

When something wonderful happens to you... what do you notice about how this friend reacts?

Answer

They compete with me or find a way to shrink my moment. My promotion becomes their story about how they almost got one too.

Answer

They change the subject back to themselves so fast it gives me whiplash. My joy doesn't get any room to breathe.

Answer

They're happy for me in a polite way, but I don't feel their excitement. It's surface-level.

Answer

They light up for me. Genuinely. I can feel their joy matching mine, and it makes the good thing feel even better.

Question 4

What do you notice about how this friend talks about other people when they're not around?

Answer

They gossip constantly, about everyone. And I know in my gut that when I leave the room, I'm the next topic.

Answer

It happens often enough that I've stopped telling them anything I wouldn't want repeated. That says something.

Answer

Occasionally, like most people do. It doesn't feel malicious, just human.

Answer

They're trustworthy and discreet. I've never worried about my words ending up somewhere they shouldn't.

Question 5

Right now, ask yourself this... can you actually be honest with this friend without paying a price for it?

Answer

No. Honesty leads to drama, guilt trips, or the cold shoulder. I've learned to keep things to myself to survive this friendship.

Answer

I carefully edit everything I say. I filter, soften, and rehearse before I speak, just to avoid their reaction.

Answer

Mostly yes, though there are certain topics I tiptoe around because I know they'll get defensive.

Answer

I can be completely myself. Even the messy, imperfect parts. They hold space for all of it.

Question 6

When you set a boundary with this friend... what happens next?

Answer

They bulldoze right through it. My 'no' is just a negotiation starting point for them.

Answer

They guilt me until I feel like the bad guy for having needs. Somehow my boundary becomes about their feelings.

Answer

They try to respect it, even if they don't always get it right. The intention is there.

Answer

They honor my limits without question. They understand that boundaries aren't rejection.

Question 7

What do you notice in your body when their name lights up on your phone?

Answer

Instant anxiety. My stomach drops and I feel this wave of dread before I even see what they said.

Answer

I let it sit there. I don't answer right away because I need to brace myself for whatever's coming.

Answer

It depends on my mood and energy level. Sometimes I'm glad to hear from them, sometimes I'm not.

Answer

Warmth. I'm genuinely happy to hear from them and I want to respond right away.

Question 8

Here's a big one. If you met this person today, knowing everything you know now... would you choose to be their friend?

Answer

Absolutely not. If I'm being completely honest, I'd walk the other way and never look back.

Answer

Probably not. I think I'd sense the patterns early and keep my distance.

Answer

Maybe. I genuinely don't know, and that uncertainty bothers me.

Answer

Yes, without hesitation. I'd choose them all over again.