Am I in a Toxic Relationship?

Q: What does the "Am I in a Toxic Relationship?" quiz measure?

This free self-assessment quiz helps you reflect on sometimes you can't see it when you're inside it. It includes 10 questions and takes about 4 minutes. Results are for self-reflection, not clinical diagnosis.

Q: Is the "Am I in a Toxic Relationship?" quiz free?

Yes. This quiz is completely free, anonymous, and requires no signup. Your answers are processed in your browser and never stored or shared.

Q: What does "Your Relationship Looks Healthy" mean?

Your relationship has a real foundation of safety and mutual respect. Here's what I want you to hear. Your relationship seems to have a real foundation of safety and respect. No relationship is without its rough patches, and the fact that you're checking in with yoursel

Q: What does "Warning Signs Are Present" mean?

These patterns are slowly eroding who you are, and you can feel it. I want you to stay with what you're feeling right now, because your answers are telling you something important. Some of what you're describing has crossed out of normal relationship friction and into

Q: What does "This Relationship Shows Toxic Patterns" mean?

You deserve to feel safe in your own relationship, and right now you don't. I want to be direct with you because I think you need to hear it plainly. What you're describing sounds like patterns of control, manipulation, or emotional harm. You deserve to feel safe in your own

Question 1

Right now, when you think about who you were before this relationship... what do you notice?

Answer

I feel a quiet grief. That person feels like a stranger now, and I'm not sure how I lost her.

Answer

Something has shifted in me. I second-guess myself in ways I never used to.

Answer

There are moments I feel smaller, but I can still find myself when I try.

Answer

I feel like myself. This relationship hasn't dimmed who I am.

Question 2

What do you notice in your body when you think about telling someone close to you the full truth about your relationship?

Answer

My chest tightens. I'd never tell them everything. They'd be scared for me.

Answer

I soften the edges when I talk about it. I leave out the parts that would worry people.

Answer

I hold back sometimes, but mostly I can be honest about it.

Answer

I share freely. There's nothing I feel I need to hide.

Question 3

When you picture making plans with a friend without checking with your partner first, what comes up?

Answer

Fear. I've already pulled away from almost everyone because it's easier than dealing with the fallout.

Answer

A low hum of guilt. I know there'll be comments or coldness if I go.

Answer

They might have opinions, but they don't try to stop me.

Answer

Nothing heavy. They genuinely want me to have my own life.

Question 4

Right now, when you remember your last fight... who carried the weight of making peace?

Answer

Me. Always me. Even when I know deep down it wasn't my fault, I'm the one who folds.

Answer

I usually say sorry just to stop the tension. The silence is worse than being wrong.

Answer

It goes both ways. We're messy, but we both show up eventually.

Answer

Whoever hurt the other takes responsibility. It feels fair.

Question 5

What do you notice when you think about the vulnerable things you've shared with your partner?

Answer

A pit in my stomach. Things I trusted them with have been used to hurt me.

Answer

In heated moments, they've brought up things I wish they hadn't. It stings.

Answer

It's happened once or twice, but it doesn't feel like a pattern.

Answer

I feel safe. My deepest things are held gently.

Question 6

When you sit with the thought of your future together, what's the honest feeling in your body?

Answer

Trapped. My breathing gets shallow. I don't know how to get out.

Answer

A heavy anxiousness, like standing in fog without knowing which way to walk.

Answer

Cautious hope. Things could get better if we both tried.

Answer

Warmth. I genuinely look forward to building something with this person.

Question 7

What do you notice when your partner threatens to leave, or says something designed to frighten you into staying?

Answer

It happens regularly, and it works. I shrink. I comply. I stay quiet.

Answer

They've done it enough times that I brace myself for it during any disagreement.

Answer

It happened once or twice in extreme moments, but it's not a pattern.

Answer

That's never happened between us.

Question 8

Right now, in this moment... do you feel free to simply be yourself around your partner?

Answer

I've forgotten what that even feels like. I perform a version of me that keeps things calm.

Answer

Everything runs through a filter first. Will this upset them? Will this start something?

Answer

On some topics I hold back, but mostly I feel like me.

Answer

Completely. They know all of me and I never feel like I need to pretend.